July ended and this is what August brings for me. I’ve been going through a bit of a lull in life as I do every season. There’s always this downslope after a high. And after finishing the children’s book commission and finishing the 50,000-word goal for Camp Nano in regards to my light novel: The Blue Robin, I am sort of at a loss.
Not to say that I don’t know what to do, but in this case, loss just means not knowing how to proceed. I usually end up getting pulled into reading manga/manhwa/manhua, novels, or watching film/series. Sometimes, I can offset this rather quickly within a week or two, but deep within my gut, I feel as though the week that I’ve already gone through is too long of a lull. I want to work on stuff again.
Unfortunately, it’s easier said than done. My brain wants to run a million miles forward and tires itself out before the race has even begun. I’ve yet to find a method that I can stick with for quelling these self-sabotaging habits.
It’s going to take a lot more exploration on my part.
So, the thing to consider is what August brings for me this year.
What can I expect this August (and September)?
Expectations can become toxic at the snap of a finger. So, instead of listing expectations and goals, I’ve decided to keep riding the uncertain waves as I have been this past one and a half years. If there’s one thing (amongst other things) that I learned from this pandemic, it’s learning to let go of full control.
I may still, from time to time, hold on to certainty as I often do, but I’ll try not to always stay in my comfort zone.
Apart from expectations and goals, what about hopes?
I hope that the world sees some calm soon. Personally, I’d like to have some in this chaotic world. I’d like to travel even if it’s just to the cafe 10 miles away. I’ve gotten used to sitting on my daybed writing, reading, or drawing away my life. The four walls around me don’t suffocate me, but some quiet outside would be nice too. I used to write in cafes and libraries or even out in courtyards when I was going to school. I don’t go out much anymore, so a change of pace would be nice.
Most of all, I hope to become a part of society again. But… that’s another topic for another day.
For now, I hope to just get back to work.