late with updates, i know

Trying to schedule everything and still ending up late with updates as usual. These days, I fault myself less. Going with the flow is often a much nicer take on life. Therefore, as apologetic as I am for not being able to update as much as I’d like, I’m more excited to be too focused on my projects.

Usually late with updates…
Laverne from Between Crossings

Social media has always been a difficult thing for me to keep up with. It’s definitely something I need to keeping working on. It’s a long journey ahead for me!

I swear though that I am working towards a goal.

Today, I scheduled an updated for my Patrons with the sketches of my comic: Between Crossings. It’s pretty much a prequel to the universe of Magie Mordue (my circus story) and for The Bird Song. Yes, you read that right. MM and TBS are in the same universe, albeit alternate ones… uh yup, time. After all, Lyra is a time magician.

(You can check out my last update for more info.) (Latest Creating Art Post.)

the original design for lyra from magie mordue

I plan to have her appear briefly in TBS- like super brief and far into the story- so basically not anytime soon. Lol

About the project: Between Crossings

Between Crossings is a story that came to me in a dream. I couldn’t let it go and it really threw me off during October. It was so difficult to let go that I decided to just bite the bullet and create the story. It’s a short story- dream. I basically know the entire story and I know the ending vaguely enough to create my own. Still, probably, I can’t let it go because I don’t know it exactly. Oh well. I hope that you all look forward to the story I’ll be creating. It’s a story that has become very dear to me over the course of the past few weeks… really it’s been a month since I dreamt it.

I will update again hopefully with Inktober has done, my Monthly Newsletter and everything else that goes with beginning a new month though it’s already past the first week. Eek!

Please send some love to my Instagram. I’ve been updating my stories as often as I can. xD

childhood: a vague explanation of my unpleasant youth

Photo by Tim Gouw from Pexels

I have vague memories of an unpleasant childhood. When I refer to my childhood, it is often years prior to transplanting from the Philippines to the States. Though inaccurate, I probably just feel that by the time I moved, I wasn’t that child.

I was 8 at the time.

The reason I bring this up in a quick update is that I’ve been recollecting a lot of my youth in the past couple weeks that I’ve taken a hiatus from Inktober. It’s been therapeutic which has never been a thing. I’ve never felt like my childhood was good. It was always vaguely unpleasant- borderline traumatic and heartbreaking.

But in these two weeks of introspection, I’ve felt a sort of enlightenment. Things I was never able to see, I could suddenly look at with objectivity.

I think that’s the key point, being objective.

sketch of me at age 4 with same aged Clara Walsh, The Bird Song protagonist.

In my honest opinion…

…the ups and downs of my childhood- the stops, the stalling, and the obstacles I’ve gone through my journey of life (not just as an artist) has landed me in this situation where I can be genuinely enthused by the happenings. It’s also been a great stepping stone- push? for me to continue the creation of my comic: The Bird Song.

Unfortunately… I think it’s been too big of a push-er. I have some relatively-sized plans that I’m working on before I get to TBS. Just some practice runs, I like to think.

It involves my unpleasant childhood plus more. Possibly a touch of Georgiana (Listening to Georgiana.)

Please do look forward to this work in progress project/s.

My next post will be a Creating Art post which available only to Patrons. I will be talking about virtually a similar topic but delving deeper into the specifics of the word: unpleasant or what it means to me.

For other updates check out my ramblings library.

quick update – inktober stuff

Hey dearies, pardon my eraser shavings (again).

quick update- check out this new post I made on Patreon. accessible to all. I will not be posting on my website until I have caught up with Inktober stuff (ie video clips and audio for my time-lapses.)

link: https://www.patreon.com/junesketches/posts

also check out my instagram feed for the latest updates.

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Instagram token error.

this post will be deleted once i am back up and running with my plans.

monthly thoughts | wake me up when September ends

monthly thoughts

september again

It’s that time of that month again where I recap the events of the month and the art I was able to create through my newsletter: monthly thoughts. Thanks for joining in on this journey. Let’s get to it.

Monthly Thoughts b/vlog are accessible by everyone.

Monthly Thoughts

is a section in my work where I get to delve deeper into my writing and combining it with my videos and art.

Writing is such a passion for me that I really wanted to retain that from the previous structure of my blog.

More about it down below.

As an aside, I also want to put to light that some posts and videos are now only accessible by my Patrons which is something I’d been working hard to do.

I want to create content that truly rewards and speaks to those monetarily supporting me. That said, I still want to create content for everyone.

Which is why I continue to write updates and create videos that resonate with everyone who’s been following since the beginning.

updates you may have missed

the bird song

This month was a successful one in regards to creating TBS content. I was able to finish two pieces I’m super excited about even after finishing.

new pieces

This section is reserved for new artwork I’ve finished.

Personal Projects

Monthly Thoughts or Novel Thoughts are my babies- one of my personal projects I keep trying to improve. They let me do the kind of writing I love and sharing it with you dears is a passion for me.

It’s definitely a trial and error. And as much as I’d love for it to reach all my followers, it’s content that’s in not a one size fits all.

Instagram

I posted about just once this month really but I’m hoping to up my game in the sharing department. I’d like to incorporate my followers into my livelihood more.

Check out the ones I posted this month:

Patreon

I like to work with each client directly to ensure their project is scoped and priced according to the specs. We’ll work through the costs before we even start.

Personal Projects Cont’d

It’s such a specific taste of writing. I’m often wondering if I should even do it. Then again, I love it. So that’s enough reason, I would think.

So, I do hope you all enjoy this and possibly get something from it?

I don’t know. Lessons aren’t always seen right from the get-go.

Commissions

Returning to work meant reopening commissions (not that I ever closed it… did I?) I’m not completely sure but it’s officially open.

Check out the links below for a few of the ones I offer!

I’m seriously debating the course of my life atm as I struggle to find storage, so commissions would be a lifesaver for me.

I do have some rules about commissions which you can check out here: What I don’t do It also comes with samples.

june captures her adventures

Have you seen my latest adventures? I’ve done a few new things this month.

patron-exclusives

I create Patron-exclusive content from hi-res copies of my art to coloring books and blog posts under the Creating Art Tag.

Here are some of those posts in a nutshell if you missed them:

how to continue making art even when consumed by fear: fear is what we make of it and sometimes it leaves us frozen unable to move. that’s okay. find the right people to help push you along.

tier image: i recently changed the tier image for ‘dearies’, added the new image for my ‘bloomers’ tier and also created an image for all supporters, nonmonetary and monetary alike (ie Ko-Fi supporters).

monthly goals and expectations: dropping in the afternoon; 5PM

Newest Products

this update seems necessary

So, I was thinking that this update seems necessary since the last posts I’ve created have either been Patron-exclusive content and just poetry. I say just but I was super proud of the artwork and poem (along with the thoughts running in my head while I created those two pieces of work.

Photo by Mont Photographs from Pexels

Anyway, the last week of September has just been mainly about prepping for October- more importantly, Inktober. There’s a lot of sketching that’s been going on and planning of Instagram feed aesthetics. I think those two things have been preoccupying me a lot. Regardless, I still manage to insert in a few other pieces.

Here are the ones I’ve so far finished. You can check out real-time updates on my Instagram.

I suppose, for the most part, my feed is overrun by pinks but I’m all good with that. My self-portraits will be my sole blues. Lol That’ll be fun to plan into my feed. That’s for future me to think about though.

I hope to return soon with a bigger post update for you dearies. I hope to see you guys then!

meet the artist • to grow

meet the artist at 27 self portrait photoshop digital drawing

to grow

i planted a seed
for the long haul
to grow a tree
with hopes and wishes
to cut and make into my ship
to sail across the seas
against the tides
to land where i may float
for a sliver of a chance
to explore shores i’ve never been.
i planted myself.

Welcome to my “Meet the Artist” project consisting of self-portraits and poetry reflecting the age drawn. You can follow my Instagram for real-time updates on the series.

If you weren’t aware, I write poetry. You can check them out on my blog if you’re interested.

to support my work, please considering joining my Patreon Community for as low as $1 a month. or a one-time payment of $3 by buying me Ko-Fi.

how to continue making art even when consumed by fear

  Interested in reading more about my art process? Join my Patreon community to unlock exclusive content! With as low as $1, you'll have access to categories: Creating Art and June Captures as well as occasional freebies like coloring pages.
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the stress is real

Photo by rawpixel.com from Pexels

I’m buried with work I’d already done before and the stress is real. This at least in part is due to October inching in.

October (Inktober) has been a pain to think about alongside fixing my website and debating about what to do next with my broken hard drive. If you didn’t know about this, feel free to check out my lengthy post on Patreon: A Heated Summer I’m still wondering about alternative storage options which are is just the one, Cloud Storage.

Also check out: All Is Not Well

I can’t for the life of me figure out which one I’m leaning towards for the moment. A part of me believes that having both physical and digital storage is the best way to go but to be completely frank, I don’t have the luxury to be using both. This broke dropout striving to be an entrepreneur is struggling. There’s so much backing up to go through that it’s simply not simple.

There I go again with non-simplicity. Such is life.

Really, such is life.

But I’m not complaining. As far as bad luck goes, I’ve actually gotten out of this relatively well. It could’ve been worse… I believe. I choose to believe.

Things can always go for the worse.

Take for example my recent trip to the beach.
this be one of my best friends.

I’d been looking forward to this outing with my friends and we’d planned it out (not even close to a T but good enough).

I say so because we forgot to bring a shovel to clean out the pit we used. We were ill-prepared when it came to savory food but count on us to have the sweets.

Yum!

Anyway, we ended up cleaning the pit through wit and a bit of hoarding courtesy of my friend’s boyfriend. (Hoarding is an exaggeration of course but wit is definitely precise.) While we attempted to empty the pit of previous beachgoers’ charcoal and sand, a sudden gust of wind picked up.

I mean that literally. The gust of wind picked up a relatively large tent adjacent to us and proceeded to thrust it towards said boyfriend and me. Did it hit him- on the head? It hit me, on the leg. Then continued to fly off over the wood fence separating the parking lot and the beach.

It was funny.

Funny enough that it took me quite a long second to realize I’d been scratched. Maybe it was grazed since I didn’t notice.

Either way, I was hit. I bled in micro-amounts. I retained micro-cuts that hurt like papercuts. You know what I mean. Annoying pain. It was just a scratch, I thought. It was just a scratch until I had to clean it until the pain traveled throughout my leg that night.

The stress is real here too.

I have to redress the wound for a week or until the micro-cuts scab over which they haven’t.

And as annoying as this was, it could’ve been worse.

I think the suckiest part of this all is that we never even got an apology of any kind. Yes, the wind was strong but only their tent flew. I think the lack of care is saddening. It’s almost equal to the annoying contact allergy I get from medical tape. Almost.

But we move on.

We move on because the apology never came and expecting it now would be unreasonable. We would never consciously meet them again. Besides, the tape is itchy and I have better things to do than wait.

Which is why making a decision on storage should be done soon.

My art can’t wait anymore.

I’m ready to continue.

all is not well

photography by victoria goda

Maybe you’ve read my post on my Patreon Page or you’ve seen the status of my Facebook Page. Either way, I’m here to say that all is so very not well. Technology failed me again is a story I never wanted to repeat.

The files I thought were safely tucked in the folders of my drive are gone. So to speak. They’re inaccessible at best. Due to my drive becoming RAW or partitions no longer being read or whatever terminology you’d like to use, my files are not with me. I can’t use them. They remain tucked away.

So, the site has had an even bigger overhaul than I first anticipated.

And let you and me be honest. I balled. I cried so hard the night I found out, I almost thought there was nothing else for me.

It was a devastating blow to an already beaten resolve.

This is where depression would come in grinning from ear to ear…

…if I had let it come in.

Surprising my friends and especially myself, I was able to rise from the tears and sadness of losing my original artworks (mostly recent 2019 pieces). I was okay. For reasons I’m still quite baffled by, I was able to talk myself through the issue of loss.

The five steps of grief.

Often I will go through the all familiar steps of grief-

  1. Denial
  2. Anger
  3. Bargaining
  4. Depression
  5. Acceptance

And the elusive 6th step: Meaning.

It’s so very easy to go through the first four steps, easy to lose ourselves to the dragging negative emotions. I was there, for sure and I thought maybe my USB hub was just misreading my drive. I even tried to ask others to read the drive on their computer. When the disbelief settled, I got angry. Most of it to myself.

I was never one to make backups but I did believe the files in my website would be a suffice back up of my art. The funny thing is, this isn’t the first or second time that technology failed me. I’ve seen the deadly blue screen on my laptop more times than I’d like. Even a hard drive breaking wasn’t new but at least not to this extent.

Fate had other plans as you all know.

And like most cases, I tried bargaining with my beliefs. Through talking out loud and between tears, I went from bargaining to depression to acceptance in mere hours.

I knew I equated the loss of my art with loss of identity which was not true as I am more than my art. I am the creator of them and therefore I can always recreate what I had lost.

Knowing my greater importance set the balance right once more.

I am worth the forgiveness I give myself and the effort I spend improving my skills as an artist and a writer. The words to my posts may be forever lost or my art pieces locked away but I am still the illustrator and writer that I was before this all happened- maybe even more.