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the year that ended | goodbye 2022, I won’t miss you
It is the end of 2022 and here is my send-off. This year came and went like a hurricane. I got sick… plenty of times. I won’t miss those moments. People passed away and I understood death less and less. There were things that occurred and things that didn’t. I made mistakes… plenty of them….
dubious relationships | things that I question
All of my life, I have questioned the relationships I formed and nothing has changed, I still have dubious relationships. I have never considered myself someone who is anywhere near a good friend. Instead, I feel like a failure most time. I’m never sure of whether I’m doing the right thing and am often sure…

i can’t remember being loved | more things about growing up
I’m supposed to feel festive but all there is to think about are the times I can’t remember being loved. Frankly, I’m sure this is an exaggeration but the child in me can’t remember the time that I was loved for me and not the expectations of who I may become. Dreams, wishes, and fantasies…

the grudges of my youth i can’t let go
I have grudges from my youth that I can’t let go of. There have been many stages to my learning more about my depression. In each stage, a version of me arises. Sometimes this version is someone who seems enlightened and other times it’s a villain seeking vengeance. I feel like a protagonist with a…

angry, oh but not to me | What is consideration?
Seriously, what is ‘consideration’ to you? What is being kind versus selfishness? I think, possibly, I have ruminated over the true definitions of concepts so much this past year that I’ve begun to see the world differently. This is what I’ve come up with. True kindness and consideration are thinking of the other person/s. Often…

blinded by concepts | What is Freedom?
SEO says I need to say blinded by concepts once before beginning. I’ve never had a healthy relationship with money. I fear and despise it but want and need it just as seriously. My feelings towards an arbitrary object conflict with the social constructs of our world. This is the reason I struggle with financial…