Our mental health is more important than ever. Despite advocating for self-love in the past eight years, I still feel burnt out to practice what I preach. I’d press restart on life, but that’s impossible. We can’t relive our pasts hoping to change it. The worst part about having depression and anxiety is wondering if you’re on the spectrum instead and wishing for a different childhood. However, there’s a truth we swallow every time we entertain what-ifs and possibilities; they’re unattainable solutions. We cannot mend our childhood by turning back time.
As much as I’d like to tell my younger self that everything is going to be better (which I did for a long time) I can’t guarantee that for her. In the same way, I can’t erase the trauma she went through and that I struggle with. They pushed her into a rollercoaster, and I was too afraid to jump out.
It’s like running a marathon without a path and not knowing where you’re headed. That’s me. Constantly.
Therefore, I ceased running straight toward an abyss and from here on out, I quit trying to explain to my younger self how things could’ve changed if X and Y were different. Instead, I’ll be the change she needs.
The problem with a rollercoaster is we go down as often as we go up. I’ve told myself time and again I’m the change I need. But honestly, I can only nurture myself enough before my environment corrodes the foundations I painstakingly worked on. No matter the groundwork, if a disaster occurs and fate says she’ll take you with it, well… Hold on tight, right?
So, hold on tight. We’re in for a rough ride through our mental health journey.
The good thing with rollercoasters is they have a destination. However, whether or not that destination is as good as it gets or bad is rarely in our immediate control. But hold on because someone at the end will always welcome you. To me, that’s reason enough not to jump (other than fearing the fall, if I’m completely honest).
The saying goes, “It’s not about the destination, it’s about the journey”, but I think for many of us, the journey sucks. Sometimes, we even feel like quitting from sheer burnout. In all the years I’ve struggled trying to find reason (and still do), I don’t see the journey as the be-all and end-all. The destination is just as important if not more because if you have a goal. If you have reason to be here, that will fuel you through the arduous journey. Despite how many downs you go through, having that reason is having that ending to the ride. It means you get to finally choose if you want to ride again or if you’re like me, I’m looking forward to a bit of teacup action.
Most of all, it gives us a chance to heal. The most important aspect of our lives is our mental health because it trickles in every part of our lives. How well we are can determine the relationships and connections we make. So, hold on tight, the ride will end someday.