Seriously, what is ‘consideration’ to you? What is being kind versus selfishness?
I think, possibly, I have ruminated over the true definitions of concepts so much this past year that I’ve begun to see the world differently.
This is what I’ve come up with.
True kindness and consideration are thinking of the other person/s. Often we do things “out of the kindness of our hearts” but expect ‘thank yous’ like candies as rewards. Do a good deed and receive compensation. Do work and receive compensation. What is the difference? I believe it is how you come to receive this compensation.
Do a good deed but do not expect that payment will be returned.
Do work and know that payment comes with the work.
I believe that kindness and consideration are thinking about how they will alleviate whatever troubles the other person/s is consumed by.
We do not gift plants to a person who hates nature. We do not clear the table so that we can then hold it over others. And certainly, a good deed is not one we boast to receive rewards. It is done because we see that they’re looking to grow a plant. The table is cleared because it is simply what is done. But work is work, you say. Then, it is work. Compensation is there, but don’t expect it to be labeled as “done from the kindness of your heart”. It just doesn’t work that way.
Though they can exist together, work and a good deed, ‘reward’ is different.
A dollar for your gratitude.
I have been dwelling on these kinds of thoughts for the past month as I see and analyze how I am treated. Things that were never really a ‘thing’ now exist like ‘gaslighting’ and ‘victim blaming’. With more study into a person/s psyche, there’s been more understanding when it comes to mental health. In turn, when I read about other people’s experiences, I see myself in them, comparing and realizing the similarities to be too similar. On one hand, I’m glad that I can see these things better now. On the other, it’s saddening to see that I’ve changed but others haven’t and are therefore still toxic to me.
Cutting ties is easier said than done when you must separate yourself from the very things that weigh you down in the depths.
I am drowning. They pull me.