fear of losing my art

I recently injured myself and this nagging fear of losing my art resurfaced.

I don’t usually entertain this fear often, but whenever my right hand starts tingling, I panic a little in the inside. It’s happen a few times before but never this bad.

Stupidly, I chalk this up to overestimating my capabilities. I returned to exercising about a month agoโ€” slowly stretching that is. My body always needs that pre-pre-stretch (yes, I said “pre” twice) to get the elasticity back. Thinking that I was ready to do some big stuff, I decided to wash the large couch in my family home.

Me at the time forgot how arduous a task that was a year ago.

I miscalculated!

Oh boy do I regret that miscalculation.

I fear of losing my art by losing my right arm, my dominant arm. I fear that I would never be able to draw.

A week after cleaning the couch, my arm is still in pain. It’s running down from the shoulder to the tips of my fingers. For a while, I feared it was a broken bone or a dislocated shoulder from the intense pain the first night. If it’s a strain on the muscles or even a pinched nerve, I am less afraid. But the fear is still obviously there.

I’m not against going to the doctor, but I haven’t gone since 2018… I think.

Don’t worry!

Life happens and that’s just the fact. I remember back in 2016, I had gone to get an X-Ray for a similar issue. Nothing came up and it was forgotten. I hadn’t felt that pain since early 2019, I believe, but the pain remained from the elbow to my fingers. This shoulder down is a first for me. So, I’ll be trying to go to my PCP as soon as I can since the pain has persisted.

Not sure when I’ll get back to drawing. Hopefully, it’s nothing too serious.

Don’t forget to check out my latest project. All short stories are now available on Tapas for free. For first users, use my code: DEAR232N for 200 bonus ink when you sign up to use on other works available on Tapas.

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