fear of losing my art

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I recently injured myself and this nagging fear of losing my art resurfaced.

I don’t usually entertain this fear often, but whenever my right hand starts tingling, I panic a little in the inside. It’s happen a few times before but never this bad.

Stupidly, I chalk this up to overestimating my capabilities. I returned to exercising about a month ago— slowly stretching that is. My body always needs that pre-pre-stretch (yes, I said “pre” twice) to get the elasticity back. Thinking that I was ready to do some big stuff, I decided to wash the large couch in my family home.

Me at the time forgot how arduous a task that was a year ago.

Oh boy do I regret that miscalculation.

I fear of losing my art by losing my right arm, my dominant arm. I fear that I would never be able to draw.

A week after cleaning the couch, my arm is still in pain. It’s running down from the shoulder to the tips of my fingers. For a while, I feared it was a broken bone or a dislocated shoulder from the intense pain the first night. If it’s a strain on the muscles or even a pinched nerve, I am less afraid. But the fear is still obviously there.

I’m not against going to the doctor, but I haven’t gone since 2018… I think.

Don’t worry!

Life happens and that’s just the fact. I remember back in 2016, I had gone to get an X-Ray for a similar issue. Nothing came up and it was forgotten. I hadn’t felt that pain since early 2019, I believe, but the pain remained from the elbow to my fingers. This shoulder down is a first for me. So, I’ll be trying to go to my PCP as soon as I can since the pain has persisted.

Not sure when I’ll get back to drawing. Hopefully, it’s nothing too serious.

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